Tuesday, September 19, 2006

100 Sexiest Cars

Top Gear just came out with a list of the 100 Sexiest Cars. I love it so much I went through the whole list and these are some of my own favourites. Really hard to choose:P The top comment for each car is mine. The photos and car descriptions are all blatantly copied from Top Gear:

The muscular no-nonsense looks just grabs you by the throat
Aston Martin V8 Vantage
You'll be wanting the Series 3 with 430bhp 'X-pack' Works Service V8 then, sir. It's like driving a supercharged tractor, but cool as dry ice.

Weird choice I know but the space-ship shape is rather cute and sexy:
Citroen DS: the car that Citroen still trades on 30 years later...
Enough has been said about the DS over the years that if you don't know about it, then you've been living in a hole. The reason? Well, it was absolutely, without a doubt, one of the sexiest cars ever built.
It looked like a spaceship that had been ram-raided by a luxury speedboat. It contained technology that was so far ahead of its time that William Woollard may have regarded it as witchcraft, and had the canny knack of making every woman driving it look like a French screen actress just back from the Riviera.
How many other cars have self-levelling hydropneumatic suspension that have saved French presidents from assassination? Witness De Gaulle's escape from the baddies in 1962 thanks to the fact that a DS could still drive even when miscreants had shot out the tyres.
In the 1950s this was a car with a hydraulically-assisted shift and clutch. It was a car that combined style and forward-thinking not re-created until Apple got jiggy with personal music players. As with everything, though, there's a DS sexual-chemistry hierarchy. You need, and this is non-negotiable, a 1954 DS Convertible in white. Mmmm.

The first F1 car with aerodynamics parts and nice sponsor colors. Btw, the word "fag" below means cigratte not erm faggots:P
Lotus F1 Type 72: the ads get sexy
The debate goes on: is it who's at the wheel, what a car has achieved or something entirely different that provokes an often inexplicable sense of hormone-fed awe in onlookers? In the Lotus Type 72's case, it isn't so much that it won 20 Grands Prix, three constructors' championships and two drivers' titles, but, that, for a generation, it represented the finest car you could possibly wish to place on a Scalextric track.
And as a symbol of a defiantly un-PC decade - one viewed via a can of Watneys Party Seven and the eye-stinging haze of a splosh of Old Spice - it's also a contender for the finest race car livery of all time, courtesy of a fag sponsor.

Mclaren SLR is just such an amazing car. It has rear spoilers that comes out to help the car brake faster:
Mercedes SLR McLaren
The SLR is sexy because it sounds like a WW2 fighter. Our only caveat is it must be in black.

The Ferrari 599 just looks stunning and it has almost Enzo-like performances as well.
Ferrari 599 GTB
The Ferrari 599 is so unutterably cool because it just gets more and more attractive the longer you spend with it. This isn't an instant addiction car, it's one that hooks you in deeply when you have spent some decent miles in the driver's seat.
You don't fancy it, or lust after it. But you might just fall in love with it. And that, my friends, is outrageously sexy.

The Ford GT just has such presence although Jeremy Clarkson owns one and he's been complaining about it since he got his, which incidentally was 1 year late in delivery:))
Ford GT: rebirthing gene pool
A 5.4-litre supercharged V8 with 550bhp through the rears, retro styling and the coolest use of stripes since the Viper. The GT is sexy. Except for the fact that Jeremy Clarkson owns one. Oh dear...

If one cannot afford a Ferrari, then one should get a Lambo instead (<-- this statement does not make sense)
Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder: if ever there was a time to lose your head...
The car that made a Lambo a temptation over the equivalent Ferrari eventually lost its head a couple of years after the Coupe first snarled and spat its way into the collective imagination.
Powered by the same 520bhp, V10 engine, the Gallardo Spyder can mince your hairdo at 190mph with the roof down, but better than that, it comes in the kind of colour pallet that takes it from just impressive to downright outrageous.
There is nothing sexier than a powder-blue Lamborghini drop-head anywhere near a beach.

Very futuristic and yet retro looking concept car. No wonder it's sexy
Alfa 8C Competizione: retro never looked so modern
You can sense shades of inspiration for the stunning 8C in the Tipo 33 next door. A car so beautiful they gave it a cool-as-heck name. The '8C' refers to the early 8-cyl powered cars and the 'Competizione' bit is a homage to the 1950s 6C 2500 Competizione that Fangio used to drive.

I have to agree with the Top Gear writers about this animated porsche. If Porsches are alive, they should be like this, very disconcerting:P
Sally Carrera: it's all in the voice, dear
This is ridiculous. How can a cartoon car make it into the top 10? Well, just listen to Sally the 911 Carrera and you'll see. Voiced by Bonnie Hunt in Pixar's movie Cars, Sally Carrera is the love interest for Lightning McQueen - the story's hero.
Quite apart from the fact that Sally sounds like what you imagine a 911 might in your weirdest fantasy, she also has some rather interesting pinstriping which would suggest intimate tattoos.

I put this C6 in because the description says very very nice things about intelligent people being sexy:P
Citroen C6: smooth and intelligent beats macho grunt
A well-turned ankle or washboard stomach is one thing, but nothing pumps the handle of love's well like brains. Einstein had several mistresses, and many women admitted to being slightly smitten with Robin Cook when he was in office.
He was a thin bloke with a beard, but he was clever, and that sent Peter Snow's sex swingometer straight into the red. And all blokes get a bit hot for Carol Vorderman - not just because she's good-looking, but because she can add up. And this is before we get onto librarians in owlish glasses. The C6 is a brainy car for brainy people, a pleasant antidote to everything sporty and cardiovascular. It's handsome, certainly, but it's the strong silent type.
A ride in a C6 is an intelligent and sensitive form of seduction. It lowers your resistance imperceptibly, like a pre-coital massage. It's a car for anyone who was turned off by the old Bullworker ad. The C6 simply wouldn't kick sand in anyone's face, it would rather disarm you with a timely quotation from Roland Barthes.

Who says 4-door saloons cant be sexy, especially if it's a Maserati
Maserati Quattroporte: Ferrari in an overcoat
Maserati has always maintained a romance about the name despite some shockingly poor cars, but once in a while it manages something really special.
Yes, the Duo-Select paddle operated gearbox might not work in fully automatic mode, but the Quattroporte is simply one of the most evocative four-door saloons anywhere in the world.
A Ferrari-sourced 4.2-litre V8 howls down the screams from the back seats as you make a large Italian four-seater flick through the twisties like one of its more exotic Cavallino cousins. And it seduces your eyes away from your brain. We love it.

One word says it all: Bond.
Aston Martin DB5
Even discounting its 'Bond, James Bond' connotations, the DB5 is a seriously sexy car. It's an Aston for pity's sake. Hell, it's THE Aston, and it's our number one Brit.

No 1 takes a while to understand but you'll get it after a while. We've always associate car sexiness with sleek low-profile sports cars but there are like so so many of those that they've become sort of common. The Fiat Cinqueciento is a rather smart and sexy choice. Of course, LC made a good point about the old Beetle and old Mini being better choice. But unfortunately, those 2 have newer modern versions that look like the old. That's not sexy:P
Fiat Cinqueciento
And, yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. A car that embodies the essence of sexiness; a car that drips desirability from its every curve. Yes, it's Italian. Yes, it's a classic. And yes, we want one. Each.

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